It doesn’t feel like Christmas Eve. Some factors contributing to my conclusion include the fact that the neighbors have Christmas lights strung up on cactus plants, my kids are watching Batman and Robin in the other room, and families for miles around are gathering to make tamales for dinner.

My childhood memories of Christmas include playing in the snow, Christmas music (Bing Crosby and the Carpenters on vinyl), dancing around the coffee table in front of the Christmas tree, Christmas lights at Temple Square, our family Christmas party, lunch at Grandma’s house, singing Christmas carols at the piano, and sledding at the local park. These memories may not seem to be equated with the true Reason for the season, but my enjoyment of Christmas lights developed into my own personal tradition of taking a quiet evening to sit on the couch by myself in front of our Christmas tree, lights all aglow, thinking about my Savior and the Plan of Salvation. Christmas light couch thinking has become a tradition that reminds me of the magical feelings I had as a child, but most importantly, helps me focus on Christ.

Some other simple things I like to do each year at Christmas include:

• Watching Little Women the day after Thanksgiving while setting up the Christmas tree. This year I am going to watch this movie today.
• Watching Mr. Krueger’s Christmas. Jimmy Stewart. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The scene where Mr. Krueger imagines he is in the stable with the Christ child is powerful.
• Watching It’s a Wonderful Life. Again Jimmy Stewart. George Bailey hits rock-bottom and receives divine help from heavenly and earthly angels.
• Listening to Cheri Call’s Gifts CD. No tinsel or jingle bells. Her lyrics are about the Savior. My favorite song is One Star. I can listen to it over and over.
• Play and sing Christmas hymns about Christ. Favorites include Hark, the Herald Angels Sings, I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, and O Holy Night.
• Eat our family’s traditional dinner of pita bread, grilled lamb, and veggies. This particular tradition is being set aside for ham and pumpkin pie this year.
• Reading from the scriptures about the life, death, and resurrection of the Savior.
• Reading Christmas stories to myself and my children. Some favorites that come to mind include: A Christmas Carol, The Gift of the Magi, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

For me Christmas is not so much about giving and receiving gifts (although I love participating in both activities). To me it has always felt like a time to reset, refocus, ponder, think about my standing with God, and wander down memory lane. My little Christmas traditions help me in these endeavors. They also help me keep my head above water when feelings of loneliness creep in. Most years at Christmas time these feelings are overwhelming. This year due to unusual circumstances, those feelings have been greatly abated even while experiencing a difficulty I do not wish to repeat. But experiencing this trial has helped me find ways to alleviate the loneliness. Father in Heaven has been very mindful of me and my family this year.

My husband and I  talked about an idea for next Christmas to replace the myriad of gifts and stuff that fill our home each year. It is in line with building family memories rather than collecting items that get shoved under the bed after two days. I am inspired by our prophet,  Thomas S. Monson when he spoke, “There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ. It is the time to love the Lord our God with all our heart — and our neighbors as ourselves. It is well to remember that he who gives money gives much, he who gives time gives more, but he who gives of himself gives all. Let this be a description of our Christmas gifts.” Building lasting family memories and learning to give of self and time are gifts I desire to better cultivate and pass on to my children.

Right now at 11:30 am it still feels a little unlike Christmas in a Christmas-card, jingle bells sort of way, but I realize I have been blessed the last few weeks as I have taken time to participate in my little traditions. The Christmasy feelings I desire have more to do with my heart and mind than “stockings hung by the chimney with care.” John 14:27 sums up these feelings I so desire at Christmas: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” After taking time to write I realize it really does feel like Christmas Eve, if Christmas Eve for me is equated with feelings of peace.